Take a Clutch To Lunch

Part Two

Once upon a time in New York City, a clutch bag got on the A train and forgot to get off, and was lost, almost, one might say, in Yonkers. But you can’t get the A train at Waverly Place. No, that’s the E or the F. But be realistic, clutches can’t get on trains, unless, somebody picked it up off the ground, where it had fallen under the car. Why in the world of Carmen Mirandas did This One not think to look UNDER the car? Don’t waste your time speculating on that one. This One wasn’t the brightest bulb in the world of light. In fact, This One was dining in the dark.

Well, that’s the way life is. One day you have it, and one day you don’t. Somewhere, This One got over the fact that everything was lost, and since This One didn’t even have a credit card at the time, there was nothing to do but get a new license to drive that pretty little red car, which never was right to begin with. It should have been a clue when it started to stall. Yeah, not a bright bulb.

So life in The Big City went on, and Connie and Francine tooled around on the weekends, keeping up their love affair with crossing the Hudson.

One day, This One gets a postal thingy – you know, when the post office sends you something telling you that there’s something waiting for you at one of the offices? – and she goes to see what’s up. I mean, it’s not every day that you get one of these things. This One hadn’t entered the Realm of Mail Ordering, yet. So, what could this mysterious package be?

Off she goes to the post office, and hands the slip over and gets a brown package in return.

This One Package

It looks like maybe a book, or something around that size, at any rate. So, snip, rip, open with a flip. And there, like out of nowhere, is the Lost Clutch! Carmen Miranda has come home, all is forgiven, and one would think happily ever after should be here.

*shakes head*

Okay, let’s forget the fact that nobody who finds a purse, or wallet, or some such thing, is going to return it with the money still in it. Seriously folks, let’s be real. Not gonna happen, So big whoop. The ID is still in there. That’s good. Nothing else of worth was taken. Lipstick: check. Pictures: check. Chewing Gum: check. Movie Ticket stub: Check.

All’s well that ends well.

But, you may ask, is that clutch still in the big bag that holds the bags? Somewhere, between then and now, it seems Carmen Miranda just had to go off into the sunset of pursedom. And This One has learned to use a purse that has a strap on it, that is long enough to go over the head, and hang caddywhampus across all the pretty clothes she wears.

denim purse with strap

Stay tuned for: When Red Mustangs Go Wrong


20 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. badfish
    Apr 10, 2015 @ 22:58:02

    You da man, man. And lucky. Or bearing oodles of good karma in your butt. Love the story. Is it over? Or…cue Lenny Kravitz…it ain’t over till it’s over…?

    Liked by 1 person


  2. calensariel
    Apr 11, 2015 @ 00:12:53

    Grin. I really think you should write a murder mystery with these two adorable women! It would be absolutely hilarious.

    Liked by 1 person


  3. oneta hayes
    Apr 11, 2015 @ 00:45:01

    Your writing keeps me wondering, “What next?” Fun.



  4. Ish
    Apr 12, 2015 @ 22:56:38

    I know what next?

    Liked by 2 people


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