Impromptu Promptlings’ gracious hostess, our loving friend, Lady Calen, asks the question: What Makes Me Feel Loved?
I will admit it took me a while to locate that place where the secrets to this question were residing within.
And I ask you, what better way to talk about this than in song?
I can say that I spent the better part of my younger days, which stretched into my thirty something days asking one question:
When you’re an absolute beginner (from the song of the same name), it’s trial and error and more than not, the road taken is fraught with the sadness of looking for love in all the wrong places:
What I can tell you is that when I stopped looking, is when I found it. Maybe it was because I was, and have always been:
The Story of that journey has many parts:
Before I met Mr. Quantum, I don’t think I felt loved by any of my partners. Oh I was engaged once, but I didn’t feel loved. First, it was a ‘long distance’ engagement. He was a buddy of my brother’s when they were in the army, during the Vietnam war. We started writing to each other, and there was a connection. When we met, there seemed to be a possibility. But people who love me are not supposed to hit me, so there was no joy there. There was no love. It only happened once, and I kicked him and his ring out of my life forever.
That was at least twenty years before I met Q online, and twenty four years before Q and I met face to face. The connections were greater. Oddly, it was also a long distance ‘getting to know you,’ kind of thing, this time in email. But if there was a second somebody in there that might have made me think I would not have to shoulder and carry Spinsterhood onward, I can’t remember who it might have been, so I can’t say, 3rd time’s a charm. But that immaterial, since I had that gold ring (pun intented) in my hand, on my finger.
Letters, and phone calls became our way to spend time together. I didn’t know, even in those four years, if I really loved him, or how he really felt about me. BUT, when we met in person for the first time, the three days together culminated in me standing at the airport, watching his plane head off into the sunset, and the tracks of my tears spoke volumes. I practically had a knock down drag out fight with myself on the drive back to my apartment, that night. I refused to believe it was anything more than just having been alone too long and the feel good cloak was simply the relief of having had a momentary connection.
History tells the tale, however. From that moment on, we were inseperable, spending hours talking on the phone. Three months later, at Thanksgiving, in New York with my parents, we got engaged. By May 1st the following year, we were wife and husband.
Not a day has gone by when he has not made me feel completely loved.
On the day of our Handfasting, what follows tells the story of the moments which bound us forever, together:
My Knight in Shining Armor took that long walk down the hall from his room, in the mansion where our love would be shown to the world (our friends and family)… to the place where we would walk toward our destiny.
The ceremony was beautiful, if I do say so myself – I wrote it. When we stepped over the broom, and returned as Wife and Husband back down the line of our witnesses we finally were Tan An – Together We.
That was over 18 years ago.
Of course, there are many kinds of love, and another place where Love was manifest can be seen in the following telling.
Growing up, with very few exceptions, my mother always made me feel loved. My fondest memories are the times we’d spend together, talking, about everything and anything, and listening to music, sharing with each other what we’d discovered. That’s the kind of person she was.
Finally, I have been very lucky to have the most loving fur persons a human can have. I might have been around 3 years old when we got our first cat. I’ve always had a special repport with them, and many other-than-human beings. I have to say the last five kitties I was honored to have adopt me were quite demonstrative in their love for me. I was midwife to one, who had a litter of six kittens. I chose one to keep and she was a precious gift in my life. When I got married, and moved down to Texas, I was greeted by 3 wonderful fur person’s who took me as their two legged mommy, and we enjoyed many happy years together. That’s a special kind of love.
Quantum Hermit 