Sandbox Writing Challenge #28 – Old Baggage

This new chapter of the Sandbox Writing Challenge seems different. We begin with a picture, posted at Impromptu Promptlings, by Lady Calen, which poses the question: Do you see something of yourself in this little child? If so, what?

Sandbox pic 4 little girl lost

 

What I see in this picture is that the little girl is carrying heavy baggage. I know that is part and parcel of life lived without regard, and years or decades later, the contents of that bag, which has had time to mature and grow, but only in the darkness of the dungeons in which it was stored  has taken on a life of its own; one contrary to what my hopes and dreams were for this lifetime. She is the little cinderella, who has not yet met her faerie guardian mother, but who toils everyday to drag that weight around. Seeing her makes me realize that I am the faerie guardian mother, and I must get off my laurels to free her from the drudgery born of my flesh failures.

THE WEIGHT – The Band

Flesh Failures/Let The Sun Shine In – HAIR

Sandbox Writing Challenge – R and Lue

And pulling up the rear is Fim Noir, finally crossing that finish line, for this review and loosening up exercises, brought to us by Impromptu Promptlings. Lady Calen, our fearless leader, is helping us navigate this next stretch with these questions.

The review goes like this:

1.Did any of your answers surprise you? Why or why not?

Surprised? Not sure that it was the answers which surprised me, as much as looking back on my writing and thinking, who wrote that? When I’m in the process, it’s a very subjective view. I’m the moments about which I write. So going back and reading is from a completely different perspective. While that sounds like it’s the answers which surprised me, it is more how they were written. I don’t know if that makes any sense. It sort of reminds me of listening to myself on a tape recorder. I don’t recognize my voice. It’s the same thing with reading my writing.

2.Was there any one exercise that felt more emotionally “charged” than the others?

I think the post I found which still carried that ‘charge’ was the one where I describe my panic disorder. I’ve been having some difficult days. Where generally my condition feels like there is something not tangible associated with the panic, I can see how the ravages of daily life can become the seeds of the beanstalk that grows from constant stimulation of my nerves. I’ve felt like I am backsliding on the management front. Maybe I’d fallen into complacency, thinking that I had a handle on it. And I do, but it is wise to be weary of taking care of the important areas of life which can cause a chink in the armor. There is a pneumonic, H.A.L.T., in AA were people are guided to remember to take care NOT to let these things become bigger than life so that a person may find themselves seeking surcease in their addiction: H = Hungry, A = Angry, L = Lonely, and T = Tired. I might add C = Cold, which is don’t allow yourself be feel too cold and sometimes even too hot.

3. Are there exercises that feel incomplete? Go with your energy. Complete those exercises now. You’ll know they are finished when your energy is spent and the exercise feels complete.

At the moment, I don’t think so.

4. What insights about yourself have come to light?

As I read this, right after looking over some of my posts, I realized that I am stronger than I believe, and also that I have become more able to live in the moment.


Next stop: Loosening up exercises

List 1: What words would you use to describe your spouse, partner, or best friend?

The first word I remember thinking described Mr. Quantum best, is noble. He has dogged determination to finish what he’s begun. That isn’t what makes him noble, as much as how he didn’t walk away from years and years of taking care of his first wife, when she was ill, and dying. That was, to me, being noble.

List 2: What words would you use to describe your enemies?

Enemies is too strong a word to use, here, IMO. There are those with whom I don’t click. Since that is true, then there really isn’t anything to say.

However, before anyone thinks this is a cop out, let me add this.

If push came to shove, and I was forced to identify my enemy, I’d have to say that would be me. I am my own worst enemy. I mean, any look back in this blog, and it’s obvious that I’ve treated me with far less kindness and care than others have, and/or do.

List 3: What words would your spouse, partner, or best friend use to describe you?

Mr. Quantum describes me as being kind, and loving, and supportive and long suffering.

List 4: What words would your enemies use to describe you?

Seeking to be kind to myself, I will leave this unanswered. That part of me does not need to continue to ravage me any further.