Sandbox Writing Challenge – R and Lue

And pulling up the rear is Fim Noir, finally crossing that finish line, for this review and loosening up exercises, brought to us by Impromptu Promptlings. Lady Calen, our fearless leader, is helping us navigate this next stretch with these questions.

The review goes like this:

1.Did any of your answers surprise you? Why or why not?

Surprised? Not sure that it was the answers which surprised me, as much as looking back on my writing and thinking, who wrote that? When I’m in the process, it’s a very subjective view. I’m the moments about which I write. So going back and reading is from a completely different perspective. While that sounds like it’s the answers which surprised me, it is more how they were written. I don’t know if that makes any sense. It sort of reminds me of listening to myself on a tape recorder. I don’t recognize my voice. It’s the same thing with reading my writing.

2.Was there any one exercise that felt more emotionally “charged” than the others?

I think the post I found which still carried that ‘charge’ was the one where I describe my panic disorder. I’ve been having some difficult days. Where generally my condition feels like there is something not tangible associated with the panic, I can see how the ravages of daily life can become the seeds of the beanstalk that grows from constant stimulation of my nerves. I’ve felt like I am backsliding on the management front. Maybe I’d fallen into complacency, thinking that I had a handle on it. And I do, but it is wise to be weary of taking care of the important areas of life which can cause a chink in the armor. There is a pneumonic, H.A.L.T., in AA were people are guided to remember to take care NOT to let these things become bigger than life so that a person may find themselves seeking surcease in their addiction: H = Hungry, A = Angry, L = Lonely, and T = Tired. I might add C = Cold, which is don’t allow yourself be feel too cold and sometimes even too hot.

3. Are there exercises that feel incomplete? Go with your energy. Complete those exercises now. You’ll know they are finished when your energy is spent and the exercise feels complete.

At the moment, I don’t think so.

4. What insights about yourself have come to light?

As I read this, right after looking over some of my posts, I realized that I am stronger than I believe, and also that I have become more able to live in the moment.


Next stop: Loosening up exercises

List 1: What words would you use to describe your spouse, partner, or best friend?

The first word I remember thinking described Mr. Quantum best, is noble. He has dogged determination to finish what he’s begun. That isn’t what makes him noble, as much as how he didn’t walk away from years and years of taking care of his first wife, when she was ill, and dying. That was, to me, being noble.

List 2: What words would you use to describe your enemies?

Enemies is too strong a word to use, here, IMO. There are those with whom I don’t click. Since that is true, then there really isn’t anything to say.

However, before anyone thinks this is a cop out, let me add this.

If push came to shove, and I was forced to identify my enemy, I’d have to say that would be me. I am my own worst enemy. I mean, any look back in this blog, and it’s obvious that I’ve treated me with far less kindness and care than others have, and/or do.

List 3: What words would your spouse, partner, or best friend use to describe you?

Mr. Quantum describes me as being kind, and loving, and supportive and long suffering.

List 4: What words would your enemies use to describe you?

Seeking to be kind to myself, I will leave this unanswered. That part of me does not need to continue to ravage me any further.

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23 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. spiritualdragonfly
    Feb 25, 2016 @ 17:32:39

    I can relate to being my own worst enemy! How’d I miss that?!?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Fimnora Westcaw
    Feb 25, 2016 @ 21:03:34

    I almost did. I ended that question right before that part and when rereading it saw the truth that was missing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. calensariel
    Feb 26, 2016 @ 10:45:37

    Oh my gosh, Fim! There is so much food for thought in your post.

    , I can see how the ravages of daily life can become the seeds of the beanstalk that grows from constant stimulation of my nerves. You just put a name to the face for me (so to speak). I had a long and Donna-drama day yesterday (one of my ladies I visit), then took lunch up to my sister and her husband. It was a looooong day, and sure enough as I sat here getting my posts for today ready last night, it hit me — an anxiety attack, complete with all the pvc’s. And I think you’re right. The more emotional the day is for me, the more likely it is that I will find myself worn out and lapse into that place where anxiety can take hold. That comment you made was eye-opening for me.

    And you observation that you are your own worst enemy — OML!!! What an epiphany! Suddenly I have a whole new way to look at life.

    This was one of your very best posts! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. Walking My Path: Mindful Wanderings in Nature
    Feb 26, 2016 @ 15:11:17

    I love your honesty and authenticity, Fim. I was thinking of you and wondering how you are doing with the death in the family. I was wondering if you had to be in situations that triggered panic. I hope not.
    Big big blessings,
    Mary

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Fimnora Westcaw
      Feb 26, 2016 @ 23:34:23

      Thank you, Mary, for your thoughts, and encouraging words.
      It was a very difficult weekend, with lots of lack of sleep, and worry about making the trip, and trying to be a rock for my aunt. The anxiety was more of a roller coaster ride and in retrospect is always a chance to practice my management skills. But then, right in the middle of it, at the funeral, in fact, I had an experience which became such a powerful moment. It was a connection to The Earth, in a way I had not thought about, except perhaps, on a more superficial level.

      In the Jewish tradition, far beyond my own family’s experience, there is a part of the process where each one of us puts a shovelful of Earth on the coffin. I lifted the shovel, and pushed it into the soil, and turned and watched it fall into the grave. I think in some way, it was a rite of passage. This was imprinted in my very being, and I did a reading when I got home, and the cards were stunning, as I turned them over. It is so interesting where we find important incoming messages, when we least expect it.

      Many Blessings, to you also, Mary.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. Walking My Path: Mindful Wanderings in Nature
    Feb 26, 2016 @ 23:55:02

    It’s true! Where we least expect it.
    I’m glad you are home.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. badfish
    Feb 27, 2016 @ 05:53:32

    good to see you back, hope all is well (as can be expected). You have soooo much going on in this post! And I’m wondering what the tarot said (above)

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • Fimnora Westcaw
      Feb 27, 2016 @ 17:23:30

      I will do a post on the Tarot reading so I can show the pictures of the cards. It will make more sense, sort of a show and tell. 🙂 I have to put it altogether.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • badfish
        Feb 28, 2016 @ 23:14:17

        Ooops. A bit more spooky stuff here. I just came across the reading you had done for me. I read it, and it seemed to make sense, but I am more up in the air about everything now than ever. No. I’m not. I’m leaving here. But I thought it was next January. Now, I’m thinking it will be in May. So yeah…still up in the air.

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply

        • Fimnora Westcaw
          Feb 29, 2016 @ 16:12:59

          Everything happens at the rate at which it happens; no faster, no slower.
          Love the spooky, always!
          I’m in front row center (from the magazine of the same name) for what ever you do, as you let us know what and when it is.

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply

          • badfish
            Feb 29, 2016 @ 23:00:02

            never a dull moment on this end of the universe, eh??

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply

            • Fimnora Westcaw
              Mar 01, 2016 @ 12:13:34

              True enough… wouldn’t you be bored if there was? Oh, wait, you’re the one who spent the summer in a rice field. hmmm. 😀

              Like

              Reply

              • badfish
                Mar 01, 2016 @ 22:34:37

                Summer in a rice field…hmmmm….just what are you implying here. Certainly not “boredom” I’m thinking…or am I wrong. Because there ain’t nothing boring in a rice field. And even if there were, it ain’t boring at THIS end of the universe!

                Liked by 1 person

                Reply

                • Fimnora Westcaw
                  Mar 01, 2016 @ 23:36:47

                  Actually for me it wouldn’t be at all boring. I love sitting and watching the world change, the wheel turn. But I wondered if you, mover and shaker that you are, might not get that travel bug which would take you away from that sweet spot. Still I’m happy to hear that we are kindred in the gentle grasses (they look that way to me, at any rate).

                  Like

                  Reply

  7. Walking My Path: Mindful Wanderings in Nature
    Feb 27, 2016 @ 09:11:02

    Me too. I was wondering about the tarot when you got home.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. Faraday's Candle
    Mar 01, 2016 @ 08:39:08

    So nice to see this again!

    Like

    Reply

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