Letting Go of Yesterday

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Welcome to Monday Music Medicine Show!

I’ve gotten pretty good at living in the now. I think it is because I’m the poster child for disaster thinking which leads me into the dangerous waters of phobia universe. I never liked living there, and it was very crippling at times. But when you let go of yesterday, it also leaves behind some things that I would put in my ‘precious moments’ jar. And then it becomes more difficult to say good-bye to yesterday. This brings me to my song for today by Boyz ll Men:

That, of course, begs the question, going out to all my friends out there, what song personifies that place where you need to send your yesterdays packing, but find it’s  not as easy as it seems to not throw out the baby with the bathwater.

BYOM and  remember: It Don’t Mean A Thing If You Don’t Send That PING!

Music is the Medicine in my Soul and I hope yours is as healing and nurturing as mine!

And End… A Beginning

For the last year, I’ve been part of a Soul Group. It was a group which I found when taking a refresher course on Tarot. I’d known about it before, but it wasn’t until last year that I would have the time to undertake such an endeavor, and a committment.

2014 had a very different feel to it. I was like a kid in a candy shop. I was playing in a realm to which I had always wished and longed to belong. I was surrounded by those of like mind, and I was invigorated. I was learning things and felt that around every corner was a bright new penny. I gave myself as fully to this world as I could.

Even as the year drew to a close, I was still clinging to the harvest of this yesteryear. Then the cold kicked in, and everything stopped, as happens in the natural world. And I stopped. People were hunkering down for the long cold days ahead. I did as well. And what was a great interest to me, is how I saw this was a cycle I always went through, only without consciousness.

Activities began to drop off, and I found myself in a very familiar space; that of inertia. Yet, rather than feel the anxiety of wondering what I should do, I simply snuggled up with the few remaining activities, and began to ride out this rather deep hibernation.

It seemed that the day would never arrive when I could return to the outside, to welcome the day, and commune with the Green Ones. The world began to warm up every so slowly, and I waited, watching as the snow melted, and a drab dull brown underground appeared. When the temperature rose above 60 I finally ventured out onto the land I coveted from behind a glass barrier.

As I stepped upon the remnants of last year’s old growth, it was a very stark difference with what I was faced: the once thriving land. Along with looking out and searching for that familiar landscape, I also looked inward to search for the starry eyed girl who sat transfixed by a previously taken for granted transformation, right under my nose. But someone else emerged. I sat looking out, from within the Hermit’s mind, quietly assessing the lay of this new land.

Last night, was the releasing of this Soul Circle; the end of a cycle which lasted, it seemed, for barely the blink of an eye. I knew it was coming, but I was so busy with my new found love, that I did not understand how bereft I’d feel at the last good-bye  to all those kindred spirit’s I’d come to know. As The Circle was released, I found myself sitting quietly with the beautiful, though bittersweet ritual togetherness. As I came upstairs, I opened my laptop, and launched a browser, finding myself at the doorway to the Circle’s abode. It was such a natural habit, to click on the link, and then I was within the pages of the Circle.

Have you ever noticed the difference in how you experience going to a website, knowing a page has turned? Instead of the flurry of activity, I  heard only the echoes of the many voices I’d known. I looked at one post, remembering hearing her voice through the phonelines just a few minutes ago, and yet, she seemed silent, just a visage of something more substantial. I saw the remnants of what had been; the stories, the pictures, the sense of sisterhood, now whispers of a past which just stepped beyond reach.

I know it is not the end of these friendships, but simply the structure in which we dwelt together.

Near the end of the Call, I had an interesting revelation. The first of this month marked a year since I’d joined; a year since I began using my favored deck, The Gaian Tarot. It was a year in which I learned so much more than when I first began. And as will so often happen, when entering a world such as this, we find new decks which draw us in. And I certainly can attest this, since The Gaian Tarot deck was one such during the time I used my first deck. But I waited, then, as I waited now, a year, to learn as much as I could before moving on to a new deck. So for quite many months, a new deck as stood waiting for me to meet it. I’d thought I might have that meeting at the first of this month, but I somehow could not. I took it down off the shelf, and put it on my reading table. Yet, that was as far as I could go. Days later, I entered the room again, and I opened the box, and slid out the book and celephane wrapped cards. Again, that was as far as I could go.

It occurred to me only last night during our final Wisdom Council, that I now understood why. It was out of respect for a chapter in my life, which needed to close. Only then would I be able to move on.

My plan today, is to go inside and sit and meet my new deck: The Hidden Realm Tarot.

One door closes, yes, but another opens!